Just in, the BBC misses the opportunity to call bullshit on Australia, which they can’t do of course because they also export ‘defence’ weaponry. Both as daft as can be:
Australia aims to become ‘top 10’ defence exporter
Australia[‘s puppet PM doing the bidding of his corporate arms dealer masters] has said it plans to become one of the world’s top 10 defence industry exporters within a decade.
The [fat cats of the] nation currently sell about A$2bn (£1.15bn; $1.6bn) in defence equipment each year, making it the 20th largest arms exporter [set blasters to stun]
Manufacturers would now be offered government-backed loans to stimulate the industry, [kiss-arse squib, Guab’gina Gil, you puny earthling] PM Malcolm Turnbull said.
Aid groups [bleated harmlessly as they] said the move would not help global efforts to build peace, an assertion rejected by the government [time warp].
The nation[al embarrassment, doing a mind flip] said it would primarily focus on boosting exports to the US, UK, Canada and New Zealand, but it would also target markets in Asia and the Middle East.
“This is all about [killing other people so as to safeguard a half-dozen or so Eddie-level] Australian jobs,” Mr Turnbull told reporters on Monday, adding that “the goal is to get into the top 10”.
The [latter-day colonial wish for federation space] expansion includes setting up a A$3.8bn loan scheme to help Australian companies sell [killing machines, erm um blasters, ] defence equipment overseas.
The government will also establish separate agencies to better [kill] co-ordinate [maim] and promote [murder through] industry exports [and a mass shadow generator of Turnbull’s own twisted design].
‘Price of liberty’
[unable to contain the hypocrisy] Defence Industry Minister Christopher Pyne said prospective buyers would face stringent checks to ensure “[we] don’t get into markets where we don’t want to be” [from the deck of his personal Eclipse Class dreadnought].
Critics said Australia should not deepen its [pockets through yet more corrupt] investment in defence exports.
[in the first somewhat sane voice of the day, we heard on Millennium Falcon radio that] “We should not be getting into the game of marketing weapons which kill, maim, and bring great sorrow and destruction to communities around the world,” Marc Purcell, chief executive of Australian Council for International Development, told the Australian Broadcasting Corp.
However, Mr Turnbull said nations could not forgo defence spending because the “price of liberty is eternal vigilance” [and other howlers from the cliche songbook of the dark arts, blood money, rogue crazy book of sell your own mother for a poll boost playbook]
“So that is why every nation, responsible nation, including our own, sets out to have the capabilities to defend itself, whatever and however circumstances may develop in the future,” he said [while onlookers gasped at the opportunism, and some choked on the smell of sulphur]
The US is the world’s largest arms exporter, making up a third of all sales, according to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute. [ugh, I cannot even say what it took to get this far. still more smoke, we are not on Dalari Prime anymore, last ticket to Baskerville sells in 4 hours]
The next biggest exporters are Russia, China, France and Germany and the UK [amidst the strange stench a patriotic thought squeezes through the asphyxiation of my last remaining brain cells as the cryo chamber fires up – and I think that really, its the world cup that matters, who is in the play-offs, and did they have the right kind of ball skills? Yes, I watch the football, it distracts me from any recognition that typed cynicism is never going to step up to the level required to defeat these bastards. The possibility that humour might somehow keep alive the slim chance that all this could be wiped away in an angry uprising – canberra in ruins, the national gallery turned into a hospice, Kara Thrace as Joan of a new Ark – is, frankly, not sufficient, but then I stupidly turned on the BBC news channel. Like a fool. All I’ve left is these three tellurian credits. Burn it to the ground, incarnadine …