The Paper May Day edition

The Paper is at the printers tonight. But here is a sneak peak.
Anyone thinking of getting married in the next couple of days should probably have a look at the back page.
We recommend you consult The following wedding gift list.
What would you buy our favourite couple?
Matching Police Crackdown Pajamas and dressing downs.
Monogramed royal condoms (we do not want your filthy spawn).
Silver bullet vampire-sucking love-of-my-life Tea-servants, with matching kettle.
Joy-ride Titanic tickets (not for the film, for the re-enactment).
A drink-drive driver warning video.
Limited-edition Duchy gourmet swan-fed corgi pâté
Honeymooner tickets to Tripoli/Deraa/Sanaa etc.

See the paper PDF ThePaperMayDayEdn