Trinket Crimbo







An old graffito favourite (I will post pics sometime) returned to mind this morning when I was rudely awakened by some god-bothering Bishop (Nazir Ali) on Radio Four’s Today Programme complaining in ever so slow plummy tones that something about diversity legislation – vaguely referenced as ‘political correctness’ – meant that some employers were stopping employees from putting up tinsel at work or employees were reluctant to put up workplace xmas trees for fear of offending co-workers of other faiths. This being an issue in the workplace strikes me as ironic and beside the point – as in missing the point by a whisker, but certainly missing. The trouble is – as the BBC went on to explain – they could find no employers who had actually ‘banned’ christmas; that there was no expectation that the churches would not be well attended come the day; and that calls for a return to celebration of the ‘summer festival’ that was colonised by Christianity were not really likely and frankly seem a bit, um, medieval.

Now it might surprise some that I am a fan of old Charlie Dickens, but maybe he did not make the connection between work, money and christmas clear enough when he got the ghosts to work their sentimental magic on old Ebeneezer. At least he made the connection, unlike the radio this morning. Maybe the BBC team were just filling the Today programme stocking with a seasonal puff piece, and I shouldn’t be bothered, but I do get misty eyed when I think of all the misery – work work work till you die, ho ho ho – that is inaugurated with the early years’ induction to capitalism that 25/12 and the fondly remembered fat fool (‘money bags’) entails.

Redistribute wealth in commemoration of the day after – 26 December is Mao’s birthday – instead of this conjunction of church and capital that jingles your bells in mockery of your creative labour – only a few coins left rattling in your pocket, creativity appropriated by the bosses, entombed in a data entry capsule, force fed on stale fruit cake to fatten you up for a slaughter that takes about 50 of your very best years…

Off to the beach then – bah humbug. ha ha ha. (the pic is from Xmas 1962)

5 thoughts on “Trinket Crimbo”

  1. This one was funny:

    Santa Pause
    Posted by N Pepperell 24/12/2006 @

    “Small suggestion to roving santas cropping up in unexpected places along the street: if a small boy looks absolutely terrified of you, to the point that he embeds himself bodily into his parent’s leg and will later require an almost surgical extraction, chances are it isn’t the best idea to continue following the boy’s family down the street, in the vain attempt to prove that you aren’t the most terrifying thing their child has ever seen in his life… I’m sure there are plenty of other children this time of year who would be eager for your attention: by all means, prioritise. We promise we won’t mind…

    Oh – and please accept our apologies for the velocity with which your lolly was returned to you… The trajectory probably wasn’t all that ideal either… Maybe it was just the wrong flavour…”


  2. (No apologies for cross posting this time)

    The Alternative Christmas list.

    This compilation has explored the Internet, Youtube & Vimeo discovering
    various Alternative Christmas themes; some topical, some strange and
    mostly fun…

    Happy Alternative Christmas – if you wish to add to the list and
    continue to share your own playful reflections on the theme of
    Christmas, please add to the bottom of the list and redistribute :-)

    Wishing you well Marc Garrett

    Here goes…………………….

    Santa Claus Does Not Exist.

    The Jingle Cats. Venetian Sanres Track…

    Original Version of above/Jingle Cats White Christmas.

    Frank Sidebottom – Christmas is Really Fantastic.

    Devo – Merry Something To You.

    Tax protestors target Topshop.

    Cage Against The Machine – BUY NOW FOR XMAS NO 1!

    Speedy Christmas Tree Arrangement.

    Dan and Dan – Wikileaks Christmas Song 2010.

    Brighton and Hove’s Rainbow Chorus singing Homophobia by Chumbawumba at
    their World Aids Day concert in 2007.

    Carl Sagan The Planets 1977 RI Christmas Lectures (Part 1 1/6)

    Merry Christmas From Bjork.

    All I Want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit (live).

    “We No Speak Americano” Wikileaks Theme ? Wikileaks Song.

    Getting Home – after heavy snow Scotland 6/12/10

    The Fall – No Xmas for John Quays.

    Aztec Camera – Walk Out To Winter (OGWT)

    HYBRID KIDS we three kings 1980.

    Bing Crosby & David Bowie – The Little Drummer Boy / Peace On Earth.

    THE RESIDENTS dumbo the clown (who loved christmas) 1979.



Comments are closed.