Alongside Barbara Stanwyck, my other fave mainstream movie star is Burt Lancaster (and though the woman on the beach in this still is, if you did not know, Deborah Kerr, Stanwyck and Lancaster teamed up together in “Sorry, Wrong Number” way back in 1948). As I am on a bit of a Burt tip this month, I watched “The Professionals” (1966) tonight. It is fantastic. Alongside his great “Crimson Pirate”, its one of the huge movies that show that the House Un-american Activities Commission (HUAC) really had a point, there were communists in Hollywood. Kaaabaaan! And it was a good thing too. More arty types might also enjoy Lancaster in Visconti’s very last film, “Conversation Piece” where Burt plays an aging Professor obsessed with trinkets. That kind of appealed to me too. What a trajectory – pirate – revolutionary – art dealer. Its a pity his involvement with the movie “Airport” ruined the run.
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Hey John,
This made me think. Apparnetly the casting calls for the stage production of Priscilla Queen of the Desert are coming up dry, so….
Prof Chris Berry reprising the role of Terrence Stamp, the acid tongued Bernadette with an acerbic temper to match.
Prof John Hutnyk, reprising the role of Hugo Weaving bonding with his son in the outback.
Prof Sarah Ahmed reprsiing the role of Guy Pierce, the super talented hot young thing.
Stage Direction by Scott Lash
Music by Keith Negus
Costumes by Angela McRobbie
Des Freedman was found crying in the wings after the castings were announced.
Dr Freedman was overheard weeping: ‘but I put on my extra tight jeans specially’.
The following have also been scouted but out sources are still awaiting confirmation:
Dr Richard Smith as the motor mechanic
Dr Natalie Fenton as his limber and multi-talented Thai wife
Victor Burgin as Continuity Editor (pending release of contract from the EGS)
Zizek has shown interest in providing understudy to John Hutnyk although the latter has shown preference for Terry Eagleton citing irreconcilable differences
Drs Jennifer Bajorek and Rachel Moore have confirmed they will be doing make up and providing assistance to Angela as and when necessary.
Claire Colebrook is still being scouted by Goldsmiths for choreogrpahy.
Breaking News from the Strand!!
Yeterday our intrepid reporter finally caught up with the three main cast members in an exclusive interview for The Razzle.
Inflicting multiple stab wounds in his soya cappucino with an organic biscotti, Chris Berry reflects on his preparations for the role of Bernadette:
‘Well I haven’t done much really as the role seems such a natural transition for me. Of course Rachel has been advising me on make up, but I really feel as though I fit the part, and the dresses, perfectly’.
John Hutnyk is remaining pensive about his role though:
‘Acting the part of the main protagonist obviously has a lot of pressure and expectation atached to it, but Scott and I seem to making a fine job of it so far. I’ll be the first to admit that this isn’t normally my sort of thing, but the minute those red sequins touched my back I knew that I could trust Victor’s continuity decisions. I haven’t looked back since’.
Sarah Ahmed is finding her new role challenging, but as she is keen to note she’s never been one to back away from a challenge:
‘Well growing up a lesbian sheila in the outback, I always felt that gay men got all the attention and credit and have been fighting against that all my life. This role has finally given me the oppurtunity to fulfil a lifelong dream of mines’.
When asked if this was the same as her character’s, to dress up in full drag and heels and stand on a mountain in the outback, the fiesty little cat showed her claws:
‘Certainly not. I finally have the opurtunity to show that anything those gay guys do we can do just as well. Just you wait and see…’
Stay tuned……
Press Release
Last night a young american was found intoxicated outside Westminster University. He was apprehended for disturbance of the peace after police were notifed that a fashionably dressed man in visibly tight corduroy trousers was seen throwing lipsticks at the entrance doors.
Security staff have decided not to press for prosecution at this point adding ‘well his lipsticks were reminiscent of an early Jackson Pollock when they eventually stopped hitting the doors’. Umban-Solou, a security officer from Gambia who studies Contemporary Art History during his night shift also added, ‘it was very Goldsmiths. I’m considering signing the doors myself and entering them into The Turner Prize’.
He is still currently under the influence and obviously severely traumatised. We are appealing for any information at this point.
In the land of showbiz word spreads like wildfire.
After her last trip to Goldsmiths, the seasoned doyenne Gayattri Spivak has offered any stage direction assistance she may be able to provide. Citing Priscilla as one of the all time great deconstructionist interventions she was heard shouting a la Terrence Stamp:
‘I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. No more f***ing ABBA!!!’
Press Release Update
Further to our earlier press release this morning, the young man in our custody has been singing ‘I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me’. This has been causing disturbance amongst his cellmates.
We are applealing for information urgently.
this is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life
but it is getting a bit tired already – I advise you go write a play. It could be bigger than Look Back In Anger. (and I would never have Eagleton as understudy, unless he made me toast and shined my shoes each morning).
cool, your right, was fun while it lasted though
kudos on stanwick
West End only, the French SOuth Bank aint our scene
don’t you know it