The Queen’s duck


When someone mentions the English Queen, I’m afraid I always think ‘unaccountable and irredeemably wicked shareholder of major corporations of the likes of Riotinto‘ (though that is spurious rumour of course). Well this week, while Riotinto reels under the PartiZans activist intervention at its annual shareholders meeting, and while the Queen’s grandson Billy dumps his consort (already I forget her name – [Capital Kate I think]), I found this on the Community Radio 3CR radio compere Suzanna’s news round-up. The wooden and pale imitator of celluloid glam Helen Mirror is still doing her bit for commodity sales. This time ducks (made in China I expect – which is fine – [sing the song]):

“Rubber Duckie shares Royal bath
The Queen is reported to share her bath with a yellow rubber duck that wears a crown
According to The Sun, the toy was spotted by a decorator as he refurbished Her Majesty’s Buckingham Palace living quarters
The newspaper also says a spokesman for the Queen would not comment on the duck
The paper reports the unnamed decorator saying: “I was repainting the Queen’s bathroom walls in the same colour she’s had for the last 50 years when I glanced down at the bath. “I nearly fell off my step-ladder when I saw the yellow rubber duck with an inflatable crown on its head
“I suppose she was given it by her grandchildren as a joke.” It was revealed recently the Queen has a mobile phone and a Big Mouth Billy Bass novelty singing fish
Now sales are soaring”

At least that has the merit of being a little funny, whereas unaccountable Royals and their filthy riches, even as they do duty as faded tourist attractions and tabloid fodder in the low season, are not always so amusing.

Australians of course voted her to stay in power (it was rigged – the only other choice was a Howard appointee – ie, Georgie B2’s appointee…) but here in England she is in power by habit and by default. Still in power.

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