Captain Picard’s Journal: Federation Big Brother


Captain Picard’s Journal: Federation Big Brother:

“Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Federation Big Brother

Let’s hope some unknown alien force or a spatial anomoly doesn’t attack the Enterprise right now, as we would all be victims to whatever it was.

The reason?

The entire crew is watching ‘Federation Big Brother’ on a galaxy-wide telecast.

Everyone has been addicted to this show since it started. All the crew can’t help watching housemates walking around doing absolutely nothing. Every so often, those viewing decide on who should leave, and those with the most votes are beamed out.

At first, I was very dismissive of it all, being the Captain; then I started to watch it, and now I don’t have any sleep in case anything is missed.

These are the housemates:

Morogh: He’s a gay Klingon that insists on keeping everything tidy.

Velas: He is a Romulan who taunts Morogh; there have been a lot of disputes between the two.

Four of Twelve: She is a Borg drone that all the other housemates stay well clear of; they are not sleeping well at night as she says she will sneak into their beds and assimilate them. She hasn’t much of a line in conversation; all she says is ‘Resistance is futile.’ and ‘You will be assimilated.’

Data: Yes, our very own Commander Data is a housemate. Unfortunately he was the first to be beamed out, as he lay in bed all day doing nothing. It was only later that we found out that some unscrupulous housemade had switched him off.

Lwaxana Troi: As she is a telepath, the housemates are being careful what they think whenever Deanna’s mother is around as she will find them out. I know the feeling.

Ensign Jordan: This young man from Earth, just 20, is there for the female viewers. Lwaxana ha”

- There must be tonnes of this stuff including slasher versions, but I thought turning off data was funny – and I so agree. The android is just a p.o.v character for pre-teens, not even a proper geek. See also Constance Penley’s great little book “Nasa/Trek”.
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